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Who In God's Name Would Waste Their Time Trying to Kill Weasel?
A mystery in several parts written by Weasel "weasel" Weasel

PART I.

There was fire everywhere. It's all I could think for a few minutes - stumbling away from the burning wreckage. An explosion knocked me to the ground, and I was content to sit there. I wasn't going to get far anyway. I slowly began to gather my thoughts.

I was a high ranking officer of the RCAF, and the night before I had been taken to a secret hangar in Northern Italy. It seems the boys in the 4th armored division captured the latest German hardware and I was the lucky chap to pilot it home.

At first I thought it odd that the RCAF would have a secret base in the mountains. Turns out it's the field office for our German intelligence forces. They were just about to embark on their own covert operations, and were dressed in authentic-looking German officer uniforms. The leader of the bunch was such a good spy that he didn't even speak English! These are some agents that will never get caught.. sometimes I get so proud of our country.

These allied spies were practicing their interrogation routine on me, trying to get their accents set right I suppose. To make things a bit easier on them I assumed the role of a captured RCAF officer. We all had a good laugh... But it was time to get down to business.

We stood before an old tin hangar that seemed to have been built in WWI. One of the chaps handed me a sealed envelope, technical information and instructions for the flight home. Two of the heftier men grabbed the sliding door and with a struggle the sliding door reluctantly opened.

The lights started warming up with an echoing "thunk." There it was.

It had the wings of an F4U, and a tail section that resembled a JU52. The frontal area of the vehicle seemed a bit too square for my liking, and there was no visible prop. Could it be one of those new-fangled "jet" propelled aircraft I had heard about?

As the lights were brought up to full power, I recognized it.

It was a heavily modified Opel Blitz.

It was an ugly beast, and we all knew it, because we couldn't stop laughing at it.. But I knew deep down that the threat of airborne supplies was far to great, and developing this technology for ourselves was of monumental importance.

I had to get this Blitz back to base before the Germans came back for it.

I gave the vehicle a quick spot check for any possible defects. This thing was definately not manufactured like this - the wings had been sloppily welded on and the tail section seemed a tad loose. It was probably thrown together quickly... or perhaps it was a designer's conceptual prototype. Well, that's for the boys back home to figure out. If it got this far, it'll get me back to London.

I turned to the intelligence officers and snapped them a quick salute. They controlled their giggling and, with a slight smirk, saluted back.

"Don't worry men, I'll get this baby home."

After swinging into the cab I opened up the envelope. A few operating instructions and specs. I couldn't read german so I tossed them aside. A note written in english was all I could make out. It informed me that I was to load the truck with explosives before taking off, and to destroy it if it were to fall back into German hands. I had the only working prototype of this vehicle, and the origional blueprints were in the glovebox. Unfortunately, the beast needs a long run up for takeoff, and I would have a rough time getting it airborne on this field.

Luckily for me, the end of the airstrip ended with a sheer drop and I could simply "plummet" off of the edge to get my speed up.

I glanced in the back and saw that my good friends have already loaded me up with some high explosive impact detonated bombs and various boxes of ammunition - all of german manufacture. They should do the trick. This thing would go up like the fourth of July.

I smiled and gave a quick nod to them as I revved up the engine and trundled out on to the field. I hit the gas...

And that was the last thing I remember.
-----

Who wants weasel dead?
Will weasel realise he's been set up?
Could something as monumental as flying opels really be grounded this early in the plot?

Find out in the next eddition of... "Who in god's name would waste their time killing weasel?"!